Summoning Adam

Here's the cover to their August edition, which is good indeed I'm sure, but you want to pick up the Nov/Dec 2011 edition- "Summoning Adam"

I recommend that you pick up a copy of PRISM magazine’s Nov/Dec issue entitled: “Summoning Adam.”  Lots of good articles in there…

The issue specifically speaks of men of faith who are on the front line of putting their hands and feet to the hard work of embodying what they believe.  From helping men get out of prostitution, to working with men in prison, to working to shut down porn shops the men in the articles in this issue are not men of words, but men of action and true conviction.  Here’s a link to PRISM’s website: 
http://www.evangelicalsforsocialaction.org/page.aspx?pid=310

In the spirit of full self disclosure, I’m in one of the articles called “The Measure of a Man” where they interviewed 5 of us asking specifically what is God’s call on men’s hearts and how can the church help do that.  Here is a link to the article: 
http://issuu.com/prismmagazine/docs/pages_from_nov-dec_2011_prism_measure_of_a_man

In one of the articles the director of Emmaus Ministries in Chicago told an analogy I really liked:  A man dies and goes and to heaven and saint Peter greets him.  Saint Peter asks the man to roll up his sleeves so he can see his arms.  The man asks “Why?”  To which St. Peter responds “I want to see your scars.”  When the man rolls up his sleeves and sheepishly says “I don’t have any.”  Peter simply replies, “Was there nothing on earth worth fighting for?”

Blessings-  Tim

 

 

The Journey of “A Bigger World…” Two

So it has been some months since I’ve spoke of the adventures with the book, “A Bigger World Yet; Faith, Brotherhood, and Same-Sex Needs.”  As of late there have been two events I have been invited to participate in because of folks reading  the book.

(No, as far as I know, no one slept when I spoke.)

One:  Several weeks back I spoke at the NARTH (National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) conference in Phoenix with David Pickup a therapist in California that has been enthusiastically recommending the book. Here’s NARTH’s website: 
http://narth.com/
  It’s a good bunch of folks who are largely about the freedom of choice in therapy.  Some bullet points I got from being a part of their event were:

•  Be kind with those who disagree with you.

•  When working with others that have done emotional work and experiential weekends, don’t be surprised if your asked:  “What’s your animal name?”

•  When you speak feel free to “wing it” and tell good stories that fit the topic.

Two:  The other event I just have come back from this weekend in Philly is a discussion with 12 of us that approach the topic of homosexuality and our Christian faith from different perspectives.  This was put together by Evangelicals for Social Action (they produce the wonderful magazine PRISM). 
http://www.evangelicalsforsocialaction.org/

The gathering I participated in was called “Oriented to Love” and was run by their phenomenal editor Kristyn, our discussion was deep and thoughtful. Here are some thoughts I left our gathering with:

Community and conversation can take interesting forms.

•  To love someone is to be willing to walk with them in their pain.

•  Sexuality and specifically Homosexuality is COMPLICATED.  It is not something that can be addressed or engaged with shallow comments and actions.

•  No one get’s to choose who they will fall in love with.  Whether by family of origin issues, proclivities or the like, wanting to be connected relationally to another person  is not something you largely get to choose.  It is what it is.  In my opinion we can only choose how we will do that, and what we will determine is the most loving and Christ-like response in walking with one another in love.

•  Wise and sensitive folks will choose to self identify as “gay” or other such titles simply so they have a place; largely so they can finally belong to a community and not feel alone.

•  Sex is sacred and has been degraded in our culture to a profound degree.

•  We need community PROFOUNDLY in order to survive and succeed as human beings.

Blessings to you all – hope you are well.

 

The Journey of “A Bigger World…” One

Part of a sketch I entitled "growth model" found in the book.

So the book “A Bigger World Yet, Faith, Brotherhood, and Same Sex Needs” has been in the hands of others now for over a month.  It’s been interesting seeing the books get out there.  I feel like they’re little seed packets.  I have to wonder what kind of soil they’ll land on. Here are some interesting bullet points regarding the book in the last month.

•  A bookseller who I don’t know very well, came up and hugged me after she had been reading the book.  She simply said “Thank you for your boldness and willing to put this out there.”

•  I got a very kind note from a therapist in Los Angeles who said, “I have just finished reading “A Bigger World Yet.” I am stunned at the magnificent shot to the heart of men, women, gay men, ssa men, this country and the church which you have let fly from your bow of experience and faith. Actually, the book I longed to write has now already been written, and I am in awe of how revolutionary and loving it is.“  He’s recommending the book to his clients, and I know of three other therapists that have ordered a stack of books and are doing the same.

•  A student at George Fox referred to the book as a “cheese grater for his soul.”

•  Thaddeus Heffner, a therapist in Nashville put up a blog post mentioning the book as well as putting up several quotes: 
http://thaddeusheffner.com/2011/04/26/man-to-be-or-not-to-be/

•  Of the number of men and women of influence that I have gotten the book off to, the two that have replied back to me are Catholic.  My buddy Mike says that’s because Catholics think and read.  There responses have been very kind and it’s clear to me they are men that are very much willing to jump in the fray if they aren’t doing it already.

•  And there are just a number of stories that are just heart warming, men that have told me they are risking with their friends, being honest, forgiving, finally telling their parents of sexual abuse that happened to them as a child and the like.  It’s humbling.

•  My Aunt said she only found one spelling mistake in the book.  (I actually know there is more.)

If you don’t have a copy of the book and are interested.  Here is the Amazon link: 

A Bigger World Yet: Faith, Brotherhood, & Same-Sex Needs

 

A Leap Into the Abyss

Well, it’s time for me to open up to you what has been on my heart for a long time.  For over the past four and a half years with the help of some wise individuals in my community I have been working on a book.   A Bigger World Yet: Faith, Brotherhood, and Same-Sex Attraction, as of last Friday is now in print.

Currently the book has been independently published by Bird Dog Press,  and from here I’m working on locating a larger publisher who would like to run with the book.  A Bigger World Yet, will be available to purchase through Amazon shortly, as well as at Chapters Bookstore in Newberg.  I’ll alert you when you can get your very own copy!  It should be some time this week.  Your prayers would be very much appreciated in all of this.

Here is the back cover with the description of the book.

 

Magnificent Specimens

David Mead's photo of Markus of Schomberg, Germany

Well, running around New York City again- and before I talk about anything too serious here, saw a very fun set of work while in the Chelsea neighborhood.  Since much of my own work deals with issues around masculine identity in our current day and age, I found David Mead’s work a very humorous approach to the topic.

Below is a quote about the work from Mead’s site: 
http://davemead.com/magnificent/
where you can see more images of his work.  Very fun stuff indeed.  Check out the variety of masculinity that can be found in facial hair alone!

“In 2009, Austin, Texas photographer Dave Mead traveled to Anchorage, Alaska to capture portraits of the 2009 World Beard and Mustache Championship contestants. The celebrated Magnificent Specimens will be on display at Chelsea Market in New York City, May 9 – June 30, 2010.”  (Quote from David Mead’s site)

David Mead's photo: Benjamin of Los Angeles, California

David Mead's photo of Xavier of Boston, Massachusetts

 

A place to enter inside; in community.

As mentioned in a previous post I have been reading through a book that’s reflecting on the men’s movement in the 90′s. I’m finding it very assuring, and it’s getting me to reflect upon my own entrance into that community in 1997, and my membership in that body since.

Here is a quote of James Hillman talking about what men’s weekends are about-

“What I have discovered is that large retreats or weekend events with men can take a man farther than he can go in an individual therapy situation.  There is an emotional experience at those events that is not only allowed but reqiured.  The Dionysian retreat world is the communal world, in contrast to the Apollonic lecture world, which is more reflective and conversational.”

James Hillman (From the article:  Finding the Door in The Forest by William Finger in the book Wingspan Inside the Men’s Movment)

I’m reflecting on this right now as a dear friend of mine enters a week long such retreat that began this evening.

-Many blessings to you Barry, God will meet you indeed.  I know it.-  Tim

 

A Cry For Friendship.

A very nice print of David and Johnathan likely from the 1800's - sorry I can't figure out who created it.

There was a very nice article as of late in The Chronicle of Higher Education entitled “Faux Friendships” By William Deresiewicz (thank you Rick for sending this on to me).  It’s well worth the read.

http://chronicle.com/article/Faux-Friendship/49308/

Its nice to see others fighting on this front and grieving the loss of “the friend” in our culture.  Too many seem content with the vapid and shallow so called acquaintances in our day and age that many (Christians being no different) passively embrace.

No wonder Mother Theresa would comment that America was the poorest country she ever came to, because we were the loneliest people she ever encountered.

Go hug someone.

Blessings-   Tim

 

Such an Immense Place

Preliminary Model of Male Figure from Fountain of Engineers about 1905-14 by Paul Wayland Bartlett bronze 14 3/4 x 11 3/4 x 12 5/8 in. Smithsonian American Art Museum

You know I’ve picked up as of late a book on the men’s movement from the 1990′s called Wingspan, Inside the Men’s Movement (edited by Christopher Harding).  It’s been very refreshing and reminds me of when I first introduced to this kind of “men’s work” in 1997.  If anything it makes me sad wondering where all the energy and excitement ended up.  Men today seem just as broken and lost as they were then, and I believe are in dire need of transparency and a safe community of brothers.

I found this quote in the book and wanted to pass it on to you here:

“The body is such an immense place. We take so long to find our way across it.  And each of us has so many bodies.  Sometimes they drag behinde us, and we feel encumbered and earth-laden.  Sometimes they race before us, making huge decisions in our name, while we scramble to catch up – and sometimes we call that “sex.” And we know so little about these things. And one of the only ways we can test the little we know is to speak of it.” Michael Ventura

 

Entering Deep Water

This is a detail of a piece from 2000 I created called "Grounds for Boasting." About the Apostle Paul, this work refers to how he almost drowned. Ironically the model for this was Darren, the man who is the co-developer in creating this men's weekend we are creating entitled: "Deep Water."

It has been said that the most difficult journey for a man to make is the 16″ between his head to his heart.  I would covet your prayers this weekend as I and nineteen other men endeavor in that mysterious journey.

For the past twelve years I have staffed over thirty five weekends and lead five that do such work, but this weekend is different.  This one is in my home turf, and this one I helped create.  I am very much at ease with experiential weekends that work “outside the box.” I am very familiar with shadow work, emotional work and the like, but this is the first time I have had my hands in building such a retreat from the ground up.  With my co-developer Darren Cummings, two other facilitators Barry and Baxter, and three additional staff members,  we have been putting together for the past five months a weekend we have named “Deep Water” that integrates our faith in Christ and deep emotional work.

We have put together the following objectives for the weekend:

•    An opportunity for men to work through what’s currently blocking them
•    A sense of the sacred
•    A practical and real application of the truth of God
•    Play
•    The building up and nurturing of a local community
•    Focus upon the heart of a man
•    To know and be known
•    An opportunity for men to get in touch with their feelings
•    Entering the healing and whole-making presence of Christ
•    Belonging to a larger story and community of believers

If you’d keep us in your thoughts and prayers this weekend I’d appreciate it.  I have been to these locations of the heart before but every man, every weekend is different.   It is about surrendering to the Spirit, letting micracles happen, and being ready for surprises.

 

The Friendship Portrait, and a Requiem for Friendship

Raphael; Self Portrait with a Friend (1518-1519) - Oil on canvas, 99 x 83 cm, Louvre, Paris

While at the Louvre this past May I was very happy to come upon one of Raphael’s friendship portraits that I discovered years prior.  Seems that in the 16th century, it was a common practice for friends to get their portraits painted together.  While reading a book recently on the artist Peter Paul Rubens I discovered the painting below, and found the tradition continued on through the 17th century.  Both of these portraits include the artists, but there were commissioned portraits as well.

Kind of curious to think about our state of affairs in our day and age when you think of what people may infer if two male friends went into a photo portrait studio and wanted to get a picture taken.  The lady in Sears would think, “Oh one of those…” In our current state of affairs friendship is suspect.

I read an article in a history journal that talked about friendship portraits and  I was actually introduced to this Raphael painting not in an art publication but the journal “Touchstone” about six years ago.  Anthony Esolen wrote a very thought provoking article called “A Requiem for Friendship” on the subject – give it a read if you have a chance: 
http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=18-07-021-f

Hope your friendships are rich indeed.  As the Beatles remarked,  “I get by with a little help from my friends….”

Peter Paul Rubens; Mantuan Friendship Portrait, 1602. Wallraf-Richartz Museum Cologne